Respect - given or earned?

Image: http://gregdetisionlinesuccess.com/2011/08/26/active-listening/

Listening to: Domino Dancing by The Petshop Boys, Dark Horse by Katy Perry & Don't Go by Röyksopp

Good afternoon!
I started writing on this at school, where we were talking about branding in our AT8 project. We jumped around many irrelevant nice topics. I discussed religion, and then respect with one guy, and we agreed on respect being a two way street. I  thought I would write a short post about it and what I think about it.

Image: http://www.reddit.com/r/OaklandAthletics/related/1gcq4v/the_as_get_no_respect/

Since forever, I have been called "the black sheep" in my family, or sometimes "the bitch", because I had different views than them and I was open to other people and their choices. I have libertarian views, which oppose my Polish family's views of "I should go to church and be a christian because they said so", "parents are always right", "you should wear this clothing and act this way because you are this gender" and traditional stuff like that. Many times I have been the cause of been in huge arguments because I wanted justice, I wanted equality, and apparently that's not how anyone was raised back in ol' Poland.
I understand the "respect your parents" and "respect your elders" way of thinking, but I do disagree. I do not believe in "good" or "bad" people, and I feel that it's logical to judge people not on their age or their title, but on their actions and motives. Also, remember the saying "Man skal ikke kaste med sten, når man selv bor i et glashus" which means, don't be hypocritical, treat others as if you'd like to be treated.
Just because you're old does not give you right to walk all over others. I respect if someone has accomplished a lot of fought in a war etc, but I act on what you do now, in front of everyone. And parents should not be respected if they act like horrible monsters towards you; fx children who have been molested, beaten up severely and locked in a basement for 10+ years. It is just so hypocritical to say that you should respect them and then they don't fucking respect you back. And if they have some sort of medical/mental issues, they should explain that beforehand so that people don't judge them too harshly. So I think the phrases "respect your elderly" and "respect your parents" are bullshit.

Image: http://www.redbubble.com/people/neoquaid/works/9303881-give-respect-get-respect?p=sticker

I have also had the discussion with my bigbro several times about respect. I always said that "respect is given" but he always says "respect is earned". I can see that. I can feel it from both perspectives.
Is it respect to leave people alone in public? Or is it common behavior? Is is respect to obey someone? Is is respect to praise someone? What is respect? Do we take it for granted?
I myself feel that I respect everyone until otherwise proven that I shouldn't. And then it's not like I will hit them in the face, most times (after a possible big argument with them) I will just stop associating myself with them and leave them alone (and hope they leave me alone, too). What do you think? This discussion can go on and on with people and I would like to hear your opinion :)

Bye for now, see u next time :)
– Lé Vici 

I shouldn't respect you/give you "extra respect" if you don't respect me. 
Don't put up with shit from people if they don't treat you appropriately. Remember that, motherfuckers!